cuz joe said so...

so i have this busdriver named joe. he drives me to work everyday, accosting me as soon as i get on the bus so i will sit close to him and chat for the whole engrossing 20 minute ride. you know that annoying chick who sits up front and talks to the driver? ya, thats me.
joe and i talk about things all across the spectrum, from psychics and family to barbequeing and wine. today's topic of conversation? one of joe's favourite...my love life.
joe has been away on holiday for a couple of weeks (it was amazing to actually get caught up on my reading in one of the backseats like a normal person while he was gone), and he wanted some updates on my dates and the weddings i have been to. so i filled him in on the fiasco with the ex and he jumped right in with his usual, "oh pam, you will know when you find someone right...relationships are all about compromise, but you have to find someone who actually CARES about you, not just someone who likes you.." followed with the ever so flattering yet totally overdone, "you are so attractive, beautiful and nice, that you will find the right guy."
we occasioanlly touch on things a little more controversial, such as the multicultural state of mississauga or child rearing. he has a funny way of saying something that i disagree with off the bat, but that suddenly makes sense coming from a little 50-something italian fella. today, it was the concept of people making mistakes.
joe started off the discussion by saying that no one actually makes mistakes unless they want to. i jumped in with an immediate rebuttal (sometimes a mistake actually is a mistake...), but i tell ya, i think joe actually does know what he is talking about. he made me realize that in life (or in this particular case, a relationship), a person almost always know whats the consequences are. a person who cheats knows that the person he is cheating on will get hurt. there is no mistake in cheating, it is merely a choice. you chose to make a wrong decision, you chose your actions and you chose your own course of action.
i am often guilty of giving someone the benefit of the doubt (everyone deserves a fair chance, right?)..but sometimes you have just gotta stand up for yourself...and i have given a few too many people a few too many chances.
from now on, *I* am the one who is going to do the chosing. *I* am the one who is going to stop getting hurt, and *I* am the one who is gonna take my life (and my relationships) into my own hands! it may have taken me 26 years to figure this out, but i think it's about time that is sunk in.
now if only i could get a date with that transfer.....
xox