what is it about horoscopes that make you think they are talking directly to you? i know that sometimes we can twist a reading so that it kinda-sorta may have applied to us on a thursday sometime last year...but i tell ya, the dude at http://www.cainer.com/ knows what he is talking about!!
i read my horoscope everyday before heading to work..maybe that makes me a bit of a kook, but i am okay with that........and everyday it rings true. some days, like today really strikes a chord:
"You're not someone who has to have any form of religion or spirituality apart from your normal routine, ethics or sense of service. Your great gift in this lifetime is to live your beliefs truly."
my great gift in this lifetime is to live my beliefs truly. priceless!! how does he come up with these things?! i know it is just a fleeting comment from someone with a bit of clairvoyant talent, but that is one of those phrases that is going to stick with me for some time. everyone always tries to figure out what path to take, what to believe and how to live...and i feel like it has just been given to me on a silver platter...or a dusty monitor at least.
so my quest from here on in, to be conscious of life...conscious of my beliefs..and conscious of my crabby Cancerian self.
now if i could only hold a cigarette and a glass of wine in these pincers of mine.........
xox
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
to give is to get
i sometimes worry that i am not a good aunt. i never have gum...i never want to play UNO...and i really don't need to see an 8 year old do 13 cartwheels in a row. what does this mean?
a friend recently read my palm and said that i would likely have three children..then followed up her prediction saying, "i really can't see you handling 3 children!"..and really, she is right.
i love babies...i could hold babies all day long. the crying doesnt bother me, the spitting up doesnt bother me, i can even handle changing diapers. but make me responsible for anything that can talk back and request my attention...then i need a glass of wine, some herbal sedatives and a man named sven to massage away my worries.
does this mean i am not meant to have children? will i be one of those mothers who shakes their child to death for chewing with their mouth open? i remember when i was babysitting as a pre-teen and snatching a bottle from a three year old and thinking i was destined to be an abusive parent. how do i know?
i was reading an magazine article today about a man who had no idea of the power that becoming a parent actually have over someone. he became a new person, fully and completely in love with his new baby. he felt like a totally new person; a stranger to what he once was...but really...he had not changed, he had just been found. i want to be found. by a baby..by a man...by a dog..by the sunshine on a december day...i just want to be found. i need to be needed, valued, desired.
and even if i am not needed, i need to need something. today, i need to write. i need to be able to vent, i need to share, i need to be open. i hope this continues...this writing, this giving, this opening up. sometimes i feel too closed and i need to surpass that. i'm quiet you know. please let me be loud.
xox
a friend recently read my palm and said that i would likely have three children..then followed up her prediction saying, "i really can't see you handling 3 children!"..and really, she is right.
i love babies...i could hold babies all day long. the crying doesnt bother me, the spitting up doesnt bother me, i can even handle changing diapers. but make me responsible for anything that can talk back and request my attention...then i need a glass of wine, some herbal sedatives and a man named sven to massage away my worries.
does this mean i am not meant to have children? will i be one of those mothers who shakes their child to death for chewing with their mouth open? i remember when i was babysitting as a pre-teen and snatching a bottle from a three year old and thinking i was destined to be an abusive parent. how do i know?
i was reading an magazine article today about a man who had no idea of the power that becoming a parent actually have over someone. he became a new person, fully and completely in love with his new baby. he felt like a totally new person; a stranger to what he once was...but really...he had not changed, he had just been found. i want to be found. by a baby..by a man...by a dog..by the sunshine on a december day...i just want to be found. i need to be needed, valued, desired.
and even if i am not needed, i need to need something. today, i need to write. i need to be able to vent, i need to share, i need to be open. i hope this continues...this writing, this giving, this opening up. sometimes i feel too closed and i need to surpass that. i'm quiet you know. please let me be loud.
xox
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