glug glug glug.

so, here's the thing....doing it "on my own" is not going so well.

i don't have the money to start up my WW etools again, or go to meetings, so i am going to have to figure out a different way of doing it on my own.

i can go back to counting points, as i still have my slider from 11 years ago - but i am a terrible journaller, and i don't know if WW is the answer for me right now.

but what *IS* the answer?  leaving myself to my own devices is definitely not the answer either.  in the last week i have consumed brownies (that C baked with accidently twice as much butter as the recipe called for), ice cream, an amazingly delicious but huge burger and fries at Montana's, an ice cream sandwich, virtually no fruit or vegetables and a couple of cheese buns with a large amount of non-lean luncheon meat.

i know once we have some good groceries in the house (we are down to Mother Hubbard's Cupboard right now), things will be easier.  i am trying to convince myself to have a salad for lunch at least 3 days a week (with some protein on it) and salad for dinner on those other nights.  i will keep up with my cottage cheese breakfasts, and then dinner will just be a simple protein/veg/sometimes starch combo.  sounds do-able, but my brain does not always agree.

i am just sick of feeling like a slug, and this last week i have.  i feel extra fat.  i just did WATP, and it seemed more challenging than it did lastweek because my blood is trying to glug through my butter laden veins.  Oi.

so, my friends - here we go again.

getting there

the upside to today is:  i actually DID the 'Walk Away the Pounds - 2 mile' course today.

the not-so-upside:  i followed it with a big pasta lunch and a half cup of chocolate chips.

i feel icky.

238 days.

feeling a little down today, and not sure why.

i feel like a crappy travel agent, a crappy friend, and a crappy aspiring frugalista.

sure, it is raining and gloomy which can get some people down, but i love the rain and i also love wallowing in my own poopiness - so it is a good mood setter.

i wont get into the nitty gritty details, but i just feel like i have failed a few people, a few goals and a few ideals.

eating has been okay lately.  i made homemade pizzas lastnight, and actually prided myself on my self control.  i used to make a pizza dough recipe and use the whole thing for one pizza, and then eat half of that large pizza on my own.  that is 1/2 of a large dough recipe in my belly.

lastnight i made 2 thincrust pizzas out of the same recipe, and i ate 1/3 of one pizza.  that is 1/6 of the dough instead of 1/2!  go me!

i have also been trying to get myself up and moving.  there is no reason i can't do a Walk Away The Pounds video on my laptop down here in my office instead of surfing Perez Hilton and Facebook all day.  or how about i go for a walk in the afternoon.  or how about i do The Shred when i finish up work for the day.  so many possibilities for movement and activity, and instead - i sit here.  boo.

the wedding is in 238 days, and i sure as hell ain't gonna weight 240 pounds.  but i sure as hell ain't doing anything about it.

must.  get.  moving.