i was looking at my wrinkles today. after having dyed away my grey hair the other day while pondering my ticking internal clock, i found myself wondering what kind of anti-aging eye cream to purchase. what the hell?! i am 26 years old...i have lived a great, full life thus far (which hasnt been all that long in the grand scheme of things), and every wrinkle and laugh line on my face, i have earned..and frankly, i should be damned proud. the whole crazy preoccupation of looking younger than we are made me think of one of my favourite mottos for life:
..."Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, champagne in one hand - strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOOHOO - What a Ride! "
so get out there...stop worrying about that grey hair or that pimple. stop comparing yourself to others, and just do what makes you feel good. you wont be laying in your death bed wishing that you had purchased that eye cream...so go out there, get a sunburn while smoking a cigarette and downing a bottle of tequila and enjoy every minute of it!
xox
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Thursday, September 01, 2005
danger: ambition overload
sometimes i find myself in a flurry of too many thoughts. i feel like my mind is pulling me in so many directions, trying to make sense of my life...but i get so overwhelmed and just end up stagnant, doing the same things everyday.
at what point does it become easier to make sense of all these dreams? these ambitions? i sometimes feel like i need a sign from the stars that will just tell me which pathway to take, so i can stop stressing about it. i found myself in a full blown panic attack the other night, complete with nausea and the shakes...it was as if my whole body just short-circuited and shut down. i have analyzed the heck out of my life in the following days...and do you know what life altering decision i ended up making? abosolute nothing.
i realized that it is okay to be confused. that the world will not end if i dont decide by Labour Day what career path i should take. i need to take a personal inventory, play around with a few ideas, and maybe at that point things will be a little clearer. who knows, by this time next year i may be in new zealand working as a divemaster. i may be out in BC working in a winery, gathering the tools to perhaps one day open my own. perhaps i will be selling some of my photos to lonely planet or national geograpahic. or maybe i will be sitting at this same computer on this uncomfortable wooden stool making a living writing about my future nervous breakdowns. and you know, maybe i will even enjoy it!
so until then, pardon me if i bombard you with uncertainties and pipedreams. is that not what life is all about anyhow? maybe the most exciting thing to look forward to, is not knowing at all.
xox
at what point does it become easier to make sense of all these dreams? these ambitions? i sometimes feel like i need a sign from the stars that will just tell me which pathway to take, so i can stop stressing about it. i found myself in a full blown panic attack the other night, complete with nausea and the shakes...it was as if my whole body just short-circuited and shut down. i have analyzed the heck out of my life in the following days...and do you know what life altering decision i ended up making? abosolute nothing.
i realized that it is okay to be confused. that the world will not end if i dont decide by Labour Day what career path i should take. i need to take a personal inventory, play around with a few ideas, and maybe at that point things will be a little clearer. who knows, by this time next year i may be in new zealand working as a divemaster. i may be out in BC working in a winery, gathering the tools to perhaps one day open my own. perhaps i will be selling some of my photos to lonely planet or national geograpahic. or maybe i will be sitting at this same computer on this uncomfortable wooden stool making a living writing about my future nervous breakdowns. and you know, maybe i will even enjoy it!
so until then, pardon me if i bombard you with uncertainties and pipedreams. is that not what life is all about anyhow? maybe the most exciting thing to look forward to, is not knowing at all.
xox
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