i was doing so well..

so, i am bummed today.

my mood has been great since the weekend and i really thought that things were looking up, but then i got a bit of a blow to the goodness this morning.

i got an email from one of my bridesmaids today saying that she can no longer commit to standing up with me.  i know it is a lot to ask of someone to stand up with you at a destination wedding, so i kind of felt this coming.  i didn't know who it was going to be, but i had a feeling that at least one person would be backing out.

i am not mad, or angry about it.  i am just sad.  this is a very good friend - a kindred spirit even.  she has helped me find out what i want in life and has encouraged me to live out my dreams, and i am just really sad that she won't be there to stand up with me.

she said that the possibility of her coming to the wedding is still a possibility, but when the odds of her NOT being able to come are so high, she didn't want to still be counted in as a bridesmaid and end up letting me down.  a noble one she is.

so i have been poopie and mopey (and several other sad dwarf sounding names) all day and i can't shake it.  i am trying to convince myself to go out for a walk in the sunshine, but i am not an easy sell.

**insert several minutes of self talk and reflection**

..and off for a walk i go.