i wish i had a couch in my office and i could just curl up in front of the space heater and nap the afternoon away.
i am still feeling unreasonably tired and unmotivated. i can barely get myself out of bed, and then i flop into my office chair and have zero drive to do anything. it is always when i am in these moods that i start second guessing my career decision.
the decision to start my travel business came with a lot of coercing from C. he just thought it was the best idea in the world. he loves the idea of me being able to stay home and work and not be out driving the crazy streets of calgary. he likes having a home business so we can write off a lot of stuff (which certainly doesn't hurt) and he likes the idea that i can be kind of home with the kidlets when we start popping them out.
i, however, had reservations from the beginning. i left the travel world really jaded and disliking the job. i got sick of answering the same questions all of the time. i don't know why i thought this time around would be different. i also feel like getting into a home business when you have freshly moved to a new town isn't the greatest idea. i have almost zero opportunity to meet people and be social, AND there is not a whole lot of money coming in which has us living off of credit cards. it is just not a pretty picture.
it has only been 3 and a half months, so i am certainly not going to call it quits quite yet, but i think i regret the decision almost every day.
it actually isn't the job situation that has me feeling glum - but it gets to be the punching bag. i really don't know what else is up. PMS maybe? my cycle is so effed up, i have no idea when to expect it anymore, so maybe that's it and maybe it's not.
the doctor at the walk-in clinic i visited lastweek (for a Rx refill) is actually sending me for some hormonal testing since my periods have been so wonky. she mentioned PCOS which scares the bejeesus out of me, but i won't panic until i know more. maybe my thyroid meds just need to be upped.
anyhow, i have a lot more doing nothing to do, so i better get on that.
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I have PCOS. It's a pain but it's pretty manageable, most symptoms can really be reduced through your diet and exercise. If that doesn't help than there are different types of medicines you can take to get things straightened out. It can be difficult to have kids without some kind of help (medicine, altering your diet etc.) for some people (but not everyone), but there are a bunch of options for help in that area if you are concerned. PCOS is frustrating and it takes some effort to get it under control, but it's really definitely something you can work around and live with for the most part.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with everything!
thanks, Amanda :)
ReplyDeletethe doctor didn't say that she thought i had it, i think she just wanted to rule it (or any other hormonal issues) out.
i have always had some thought in the back of my head that i would have trouble getting pregnant, and so this possibility kind of scares me.
i will keep you updated. thanks for your message!